you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
