so that wasnt chicken after all
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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