I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
