It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
