Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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