remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
