Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
