the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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