I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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