he shaved USA in his pubs
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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