I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
