So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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