My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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