He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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