Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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