i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
