fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
