They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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