Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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