why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im holly from the hills drunk
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
