question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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