Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
