I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
