how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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