We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
