Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
