it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
