I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
