i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
