if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
