I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
