you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
