arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ladies don't puke and tell
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
