Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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