A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
