Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
