I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
