return my video game
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
