we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
