Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
