end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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