he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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