i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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