Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
