Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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