Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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