I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
