i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
