My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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