Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
