I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
