I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
